The Down Side to the Mom Job

The Mom Job is great but even the most perfect vocation has its difficult aspects. For the mom who is at home all day with her beloved children, the biggest down side is loneliness resulting from isolation from other adults.  It may be hard to believe that a woman who cannot even use the restroom without a train of toddlers joining her in the room could ever be lonely, but indeed, it does happen.

Some of us turn on our favorite television to have the sound of adult voices.  I particularly enjoyed EWTN and a smattering of cooking programs.  I broke up the daily round of vacuuming, meals, laundry and dishes with pauses to say the prayers along with the EWTN programming, or I’d take notes on some aspect of cooking I wanted to try to learn.  It was helpful, but did not really satisfy.

I hoped to find some sort of connection with moms at Church only to discover that there really are no mom groups for geeks.  One group told me to stop thinking so much and pray more, that my loneliness was the result of a lack of faith. Considering they did not know anything about me it was a rather big assumption on their part.  Another group told me to go get a job and put the children in daycare and all would be well. Neither group was of any use at all.

I spent a good bit of time praying for at least one woman who understood where I was coming from– that I loved being at home with my children but was lonely and that I needed someone to understand and sympathize more than I needed a job or more hours in prayer.

I did eventually find that woman who understood in a place I least expected.  I caught Mother Angelica’s show and she was talking to woman about our vocations. She had a Bible open on her lap and she was talking to us with respect.  She GOT IT! She understood; she talked to both our hearts and brains.  She understood that my vocation did not preclude my need for mental stimulation and loneliness resulting from that lack.

I cannot say that the loneliness ended, but it was easier.  So for stay at home and working moms, who find yourself loving the Mom Job but also feeling lonely.  I get ya!  I’ve been there too.  Home with the children can get lonely even when you have a marvelous day.  It can be even more lonely on the common days where hardly anything goes as planned. You are not the only one who gets lonely and it is OK.

Dear Lord, thank You for the Mom Job, and thank you for anyone who understands that loneliness that can go with it. Thank You for other persons who speak up and tell about it, and thank You for older women who speak out. +Amen.

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