Fixing the Divorce Problem

Divorce strikes at the heart of our vocations that include marriage.  Divorce is a symptom of flaws in how we develop ourselves and in the way we choose our spouses. More study of those flaws and what needs to be done to correct them will go far in the effort to decrease divorce.

Over at the Register they have an EXCELLENT article about the damage divorce causes children. This article highlights a conference focusing on the experiences of the children from marriages that break up.  Divorce causes them emotional problems and while not insurmountable, the damage is real.

By severing the child from his or her origins in love, divorce puts   the child’s “filial” identity into question, and together with it, the goodness of his or her existence, said Father Lopez.  Read more:

Divorce causes damage to children and so it is important to decrease the incidence of divorce, but to do it it seems to me that divorce is a symptom of a much greater cultural problem pertaining to the formation of marriages.  We are looking at adults who were taught to seek fulfillment rather than virtues and to look for love and passion at the expense of more pragmatic and spiritual characteristics.  Ability to make a living, work ethic, compatibility in what they think a child ought to be taught, domestic inclinations, kindness, patience, maturity, faith, love and forgiveness– these are elements that seem to have been ignored to the detriment of marriage.

I would like to see studies that identify what exactly has been ignored culturally that is essential to a successful marriage and that information be taught so that people know how to best choose a spouse with whom you can remain connected when the passion and romance is at a low point.

Divorce causes problems for children but it is a symptom of another problem.  We need more information on what has gone wrong in the partner selection process and correct for that to cut down divorce BEFORE the weddings happen and children come along.

Anyway, my $.02 worth.

Dear Lord, please help us to recognize what is lacking in ourselves and our choosing of spouses so that the marriages we attempt will be fully Sacramental and have what they need to survive and thrive.  Thank you that there is so much discussion on this important topic. Bless those who research it and grant them wisdom to recognize what people need to know. Amen.

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